so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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