Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
