did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
