Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
