capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
