Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I think I sprained my soul last night
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
