she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
