as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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