i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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