All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
