Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Randomize
