she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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