how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
