What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Randomize
