Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
