So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
