imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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