Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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