forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
And then he peed in my hair
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