Pappa wants mamma naked
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
