Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
