Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
