On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
