my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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