The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
you win again, gameday.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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