guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
