I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
