Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
