we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
