I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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