trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
