You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
