just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Randomize
