Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
