She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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