why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
