How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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