It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
