i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
