Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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