I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
