My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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