we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
