i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
