I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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