what day is it and did you see me today?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
