It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Randomize
