my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
