is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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