real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
We need a shit load of segways right now
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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