oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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