My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
i now understand why vodka
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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