im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Randomize
