I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
