I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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